Is therapy right for your child?

Understanding if Therapy Is Right for You: 

How to Know When to Seek Help for Your Child

Knowing when to take your child to therapy can be tricky. I often hear questions like:

🤔 Does my child need to go?

🤔 Is their behavior “normal”?

🤔 Is it really that bad?

Mental health is different from medicine. There’s no clear test — no “positive” or “negative” result — that tells us when to start treatment. But often, we try to apply the same mindset to emotional or behavioral struggles. We look for signs that "cross a line," whether in severity or frequency, to help us decide whether professional help is needed.

Questions naturally come up, like:

❓Is the behavior severe enough?

❓Are other kids the same age still struggling with this?

❓Do other kids do this?

❓Will they just grow out of it?

Of course, people come to therapy for many different reasons. 

👉 Sometimes, kids and parents are simply looking for a safe place to talk.

👉 Sometimes kids even ask to go themselves.

👉 Families may have questions about the best way to approach a specific life challenge.

👉 Parents may want to learn effective parenting strategies.

👉 Some want to build stronger relationships with their children, spouse, or other family members.

👉 Others are looking for a time-out from their busy week — a space to reflect, gain support, and feel heard.

However, for those that are on the fence, I suggest these 3 questions for your consideration.

1. Will my child still be struggling with this issue in six months?

This question helps you assess whether the challenge is likely to be long-term or something that will resolve on its own. If you’re unsure, it might make sense to take a "wait and see" approach. But if you feel reasonably confident that when the seasons change, your child will still be struggling, it may not make sense to keep putting off getting support.

2. Is my child’s challenge impacting their sense of self?

This is a big one. We want children to encounter challenges that are within reach of their abilities — challenges that push them just enough to promote growth and the development of new skills. When a child repeatedly faces struggles beyond their capabilities, it can become demoralizing. Over time, these repeated hardships and setbacks begin to shape their beliefs about themselves.

Sometimes kids say things like:

• I'm stupid.

• I'm an idiot.

• I'm a loser.

• I want to die.

These statements can be indicators that their challenges have become so overwhelming that they’re affecting how they see themselves. Your kiddo is telling you they need help. 

3. Would therapy help?

This might be the most practical question of all. Could therapy help your child develop the skills they need to manage and overcome the challenges they’re facing? You might worry that your child would be reluctant or avoidant — and while that can be a barrier, a skilled therapist knows how to build trust, foster engagement, and create motivation. Choosing a therapist who uses evidence-based treatments and has expertise in addressing your child’s specific struggles is key to making therapy effective.

No one is born knowing all the answers. Over time, we've learned that people can develop the skills they need to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. Support is available — there are people and places ready to help.

*** If your child expresses any thoughts of wanting to die or talks about suicide, please reach out for help immediately. ***

If you're unsure who to contact, you can always start with your child’s pediatrician.

For urgent or crisis situations:

Contra Costa Crisis Center:

Call 1-800-833-2900 or text HOPE to 20121

for 24/7 crisis counseling, suicide prevention, and emotional support.

​Contra Costa Health | Home+6cccc.myresourcedirectory.com+6Solano County+6 

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline:

Dial 988 

for free, confidential support for anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis. ​namicontracosta.org